My trip to Washington for the Jon Stewart / Stephen Colbert Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear 
Stupid” design, only with the “Stupid” crossed out and replaced with “Reasonable.” I know all this because I flew to Washington to be at that rally, but I’m here to say to Jon Stewart and his erstwhile partner in sanity Stephen Colbert,…Guys, I can be reasonable, but…
Flying into Washington and having the screen on my flip phone go white?? Come on!
You realize how useless a phone is without a screen, right? Even a lame flip phone like the one I’m carrying even though pretty much everyone on the planet, including my sister who just moved back to the U.S. from Argentina and her five kids, all have smart phones. Send a text? Nah. Dial any of the dozens of numbers stored in my contacts list? Nah. Use it as a watch? Nah. (And no, I don’t wear a wristwatch.) Handicapped as I was, though, I pressed on, and…
I can be reasonable, but…
Sitting on a Washington Flyer Shuttle for two-and-half hours to get into the city from Dulles? Come on!
Seven other people on that shuttle, and I probably don’t even have to ask you how many got dropped off before I did. Foggy Bottom? Check. Downtown? Check. Georgetown? Check and check. Dupont Circle? Check. My father-in-law’s cousin’s place in Petworth? Oh yeah, that sounds like last place to me! Good thing the restaurant was only a block away, or I never would have gotten my pasta bucket inside the 10:00 closing time. That was all Thursday, so I had a full day to sightsee before rally day, and…
I can be reasonable, but…
Falling deathly ill in the International Spy Museum?? Come on! 
When I got on the plane at SFO, it was seasonal allergies: runny nose, burning sinuses, a Victorian lady cough every now and again. When my friends Mary and Susan and I rode the Metro over and went into the Operation Spy experience, a little more nose-blowing, but still nothing serious. But then, a half-hour through the Spy Museum exhibits, it started to hit me, and a half-hour after that, it was chills, fever, shaking, weakness, a thrashing sore throat and a pounding headache.
I made a command decision to relocate myself from Petworth to Mary’s and Susan’s hotel, lay in provisions, and quarantine myself for the rest of the day and night in hopes of beating the dreaded thing into submission in time to make the rally the next morning, but then…
I can be reasonable, but…
Spending the whole damn day and night coughing and blowing, unable to breathe or sleep, swilling Nyquil to no avail, and then waking the next day no better off?? Come on! 
I was in a hotel 2.6 miles away, about a 9-minute cab ride. I had my Rally cap and my Keep Fear Alive t-shirt. I had my Rally posse and the posse had a plan, and I had to tell the posse to go on without me because I just couldn’t move.
I can be reasonable, but…
Watching the Rally to Restore Sanity on a 15-inch laptop computer screen from only 2.6 miles away?? Come on!
It was 1:30 p.m. before I was ambulatory and conscious enough to get the computer out and open up ComedyCentral.com. And truth be told, I wasn’t sad, really, until I saw the crowd shot from the boom camera, until I saw the National Mall covered with the mass of people that I came to be a part of, people sick and tired of the culture of fear, people desperate for someone—some leader, some media outlet, some person or persons of influence somewhere—with the courage to just be reasonable.
I did see, on my 15-inch screen, as Jon Stewart took the microphone at the end and said, “We live in hard times, not end times,” and, repeatedly, “You go first, then I’ll go.” And those words and the message embodied in them kept resonating with me for the entirety of my trip home.
…Sitting in the bistro of the One Washington Circle hotel completely surrounded by Muslims, hearing the music of their language and seeing the joy and compassion in their eyes and their movements.
...Finding the bartender at the airport willing to learn as I taught her how to make hot toddies, and then enjoying the fruits of her quick education.
…Waiting on standby for two flights at Dulles and seeing the respectful gratitude of those who made the flights and the dignified resignation of those who didn’t.
…Smiling, all of them smiling, all of us smiling with each other. “You go first, then I’ll go.”
And those words still resonate with me now.
Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to be reasonable, but the fact is, for the vast majority of us lowly humans, it’s actually much harder not to be.
My deepest, sincerest thanks to Mary Rich for not only hosting me on my one reasonably healthy night, but also braving that same DC traffic to transfer my stuff to my quarantine hole for me. Thank you, Mary!
And also, thanks to Mary Dateo and Susan Hill for raiding the local CVS Pharmacy in a heroic effort to get me well in time for the rally. Didn't work out, guys, but I got a lot better a lot faster for all your efforts and the various drugs and provisions you delivered.
Thanks to you all again for taking such good care of me!
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